We all have our own issues, and I can almost guarantee people think they are unique with a lot of their problems. Honestly though, you probably aren't. Many people have been in the same boat as you, so saying "You don't understand!" pretty much seals your fate against getting help. You think your problems are unique, but hey, everyone has them. Anyway, here are just some things that kind of annoy me or are problems for me.
Pet Peeve: People Who Chew with Their Mouth Open.
I cannot even begin to describe how much I loathe the sound of people chewing. It annoys me to the point of deciding hundreds of ways to murder said person. In order to hold in my utter rage and still the desire for murder, I basically dig my nails into my skin as hard as I can. It can't be healthy, but when you tell said person 300 times to chew with their mouth closed, and they still do it, I basically just give up. A friend of mine once looked up this peeve on the internet and found out it is a trait in your DNA. This sound making me want to kill people I was fucking born with. That is weird and upsetting. I'd like to sit through dinner without thinking of burning someone alive, or stabbing them with my fork.
Having/Not Having Money
I hate not having money, but having money is a blessing and a curse for me. I know I'm not alone here, but when I have money to spend, I SPEND IT. I can blow through $300 in a day, not giving a fuck. It doesn't hit me till my bank account is empty, and then I basically sit there and cry. Now, when I don't have a steady income, I won't do this, as I know this money has to last me at least x months or days or whatever. Then I will spend rarely. But when I have a job and steady income? Oh boy, just try and stop me from buying clothes and games and whatever the fuck else I don't need. Seriously, go ahead and try. I DARE YOU.
Playing Games with Other People
MMO's and other online games are both a blessing and a curse. Playing with friends is always fun, but once you get stuck with strangers, it can go one of two ways. People will be utter assholes to you and make you want to quit the game for all eternity, or you will meet awesome people who you befriend and maybe friend on Facebook. Seriously guys, it's 2012. There is nothing wrong with internet friends! There are also those gray area people who just float on by, but you get my point. The thing is I really enjoy online gaming, but sometimes you just look off into the distance, your whole team falling apart and everyone at each others throats, and ask the world why. Why do you act this way? Calling somebody bad isn't going to make them better. Actually help them out sometimes. Kindness goes a long way bro.
Listening to Other People
Guys, I have the attention span of a goldfish. I know the majority of people I know do as well. But sometimes, when you start telling me a really long story (especially if we are in a car or something) I will totally zone the fuck out. It just happens. Your story could be really enthralling, but it is just what happens! I zone out all the time. In the middle of work, while chatting with people, while gaming online, while reading. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, I just retreat into my mind and get lost. It's like a labyrinth in there, and once I go in there is no coming out. Granted I'll suddenly realize I haven't heard a word of your story, but it is nothing against you. I will really try my hardest sometimes, but don't get mad if I tune out. I will let you know if I honestly don't care about what you are saying.
I Am Really Nervous When It Comes to My Music
I love listening to music. I really do, and I know almost every else does to. When I'm driving around I will blast whatever the hell I want, because it is usually just me. However, the moment someone else gets in the car, I don't know how to function anymore. I know what music they like, usually, but I sit there with my iPhone, trying to choose something I can put on that we will both enjoy and won't cause them to turn to me with those judging eyes and say "You listen to THAT?" It's not that I care most of the time, but my desire to make the ride enjoyable for all parties makes it hard. I like to listen to specific music when I drive, you know? Sometimes that is Dubstep, sometimes trashy Pop, and others Classic Rock that I listen to with my parents. I have these moods, and you being in the car will cause me to skip 80% of my loved tracks. I don't hate you, I just hate you right now.
Do NOT Fuck with My Morning Routine
I have a specific schedule when I get up. This usually involves immediately jumping in the shower and then getting ready for the day. I am very dead set on this in the morning, especially when I am getting ready for work. For work, I get up at 8 to shower, and try to leave by 8:45/8:50. If I am not in the shower by like 8:05, it guarantees I will be late. I can't explain it, it just WILL HAPPEN. My sister was home today and she was in the shower when I got up, so I didn't get in till like 8:10. And, no big surprise, I was late for work. Now, it's really not her fault, cause she didn't know that was when I liked to get up. Still, I spent most of the morning just angry. I told myself to chill, cause it was basically just one day. It didn't help that I like to play music in the morning too, so with sharing a room with my brother while she is home, I can't do that either. So, basically, I had no way to chill this morning. Good thing it's only for a few days, otherwise I would start getting really cranky.
I Wake Up Each Morning with a Song in My Head
It's not really a problem, but it's one of my favourite things about me. Each morning, I get a different song stuck in my head. It will never say anything about the day ahead, or the mood I'm in. It is just the song of the day. Today it is Let It Go - Dragonette. I fell in love with Dragonette relatively recently, and this song is so catchy I love it. I am half tempted to sit here and dance at my desk, because I just love it so, but everyone will totally judge me. I'm doing work, I promise! (These posts are usually written over a long span of time, as I do work, write a little, do more work, etc.). Sometimes they are sad songs, sometimes they are happy songs. It doesn't matter, as it will never affect my day, just will be something there to keep me entertained. The only time I am ever concerned is when I don't have a song in my head. That usually spells trouble ahead.
Sometimes I Just Need to do Nothing
I get into these really weird moods sometimes. They are hard to explain, but I legit just need to be left alone. I don't want to talk about it usually, as it is just something I need to work through. It sometimes lasts a few hours, or a few days. I get over it pretty quickly mostly, but during that time I just need to be alone. I just need that me time. It's sometimes nice when someone is there just to hang out and distract me. One day I shifted into this mood while hanging out with a friend, and he was nice enough to just keep me company. It wasn't his fault, and there was nothing I could do about it, but it was really sweet of him! It was also cool that he understood that I just didn't want to talk about it.
I Have Attachment Issues
This is the biggest thing. I cannot stress enough how hard it is for me to get attached to somebody. Yes, occasionally I get that puppy love and fall hard, but for the most part I have no idea how I feel about people. It is even harder when said people like me back. I don't know why, there's just nothing. A lot of times it's really concerning because I can never find a reason to not like said person, but it's just empty. There are also aspects of my life that I will basically tell anyone that asks. However, there are things that you could torture me to try to get out, and I just can't. They usually aren't even that important or interesting, you just aren't allowed to know. Sorry, I just am really guarded about certain things. A friend pointed that out once. The interesting thing is that I basically wear my heart on my sleeve. It is painfully obvious how I feel about people, and it's actually hilarious when people cannot read me. I'm basically an open book when it comes to my emotions, there's just nothing I can do about it.
I don't even have trust issues, which you think would cause a lot of the problems. No one has really turned around and stabbed me hard before (well, maybe once, but that is longer over with) but for the most part I'm pretty good upfront about knowing who I can trust and who I cannot. Ah well.
Guess this ends my.. rant? I don't know what to call this.
Till next time, loves.
~G
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