Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Music

One thing that gets me really riled up is when you ask someone "What music do you like?" and they respond, "Oh, all kinds of music."

You are lying through your teeth, you scumbag.

While it may be true that you like different kinds of music, just give me a straight answer. Do you prefer metal? Do you have a soft spot for trashy pop? Give me something to work with here! I have known too many people who will answer like this. I know you are just being nice, but when you actually listen to death metal 90% of the time, you clearly have a preference.

Allow me to explain. You can like a wide variety, but when you are casually listening, you often will fall back on certain bands or certain music types. This is very true, and we all know it. Why not just tell me "Oh, I spend a lot of time listening to Britney Spears," or "I listen to the Ramones almost exclusively." I won't judge you, I am asking because I want to know if we have something in common! Maybe we both went to see the same concert. Just be honest with me, don't give me vague bullshit.

Anyway, back to the explanation. If you open up your iTunes library or whatever you use, who has your highest play counts? Or, if you have something like Last.fm or Spotify, what are your top bands? Let's take my page for example, and you will see my weird taste.

So this is my last.fm page. Let's start with my top bands, as that is the easiest place to start.

#1: Britney Spears. Genre: Pop. I can't even begin to describe my love for this woman. I have seen her live and I would kill to see her again. I can listen to her all the time, and her catchy pop beats make me want to dance until the world ends (see what I did there? Don't hurt me!). She ranks the top at almost 4k tracked plays. That's just the tracked ones, mind you. It is actually way higher than that. If someone asks me what bands I like, Britney is one of the firsts to be named.

#2: Emilie Autumn. Genre: Gothic Industrial. Another I've seen in concert (I don't go to concerts much. I have been to three total! It's hard to find people who like the same music as I do). EA is an interesting lady, and I fell in love with her when my friend Heather introduced me to Marry Me. She has an interesting style, and god damn is she AMAZING live. This girl is insane, and I will love her forever.

#3: Lady Gaga. Genre: Pop. Well, I don't have much to say. Gaga and I have had a fall out. I love Fame Monster, but Born This Way isn't doing it for me. Another pop for the list! I really do enjoy catchy pop. I can't help it, if I can dance to it I will probably listen to it.

#4: MSI. Genre: Industrial Jungle Punk. Whatever the fuck that means. Don't listen to them so much anymore, but got into them from a friend of mine. I love the craziness of their songs. So good. Another Industrial here.

#5: Alice In Videoland. Genre: Electronic Synthpop. I won't lie, Pop and Electronic are two of my favorite genres. I just love those beats and sounds. Sort of another pop, but I put them more in the Electronic category!

I won't keep listing, because it will just turn into a "GO LISTEN TO THESE BANDS OMG I LOVE THEM" post rather than me telling all of you to stop responding with "I love all kinds hehe!" But some of the tops include Robots in Disguise, The Receiving End of Sirens, Cute is What We Aim For, The Academy Is..., Emery, Skrillex, Deadmau5, IAMX and Ke$ha.

See, like I said, I have a weird taste in music. And that's okay to say! You can be like "Oh I have an eclectic taste in music," or "Oh god, I have such a weird taste. Don't judge me." Seriously, that is okay to say! I know you aren't lying!

Also, let's be real here. Music is very subjective. There is no such thing as a "good" or "bad" band (this is not true, but I hope you understand what I mean by this!). Everyone likes what they like. Sure, I'll sit here and bash certain bands because I hate everything about them. I know out there someone does like them, but for me they sound like nails on a chalkboard. Essentially, this makes music reviews totally and completely useless.

I was on iTunes the other day looking up bands, and while I was listening to a band I decided to scroll through the comments. One had one star and said something along the lines of "All these reviews are from fanboys, go listen to REAL MUSIC." First off, well no shit Sherlock. Of course the people reviewing this are fanboys. The people on the page LIKE THE BAND. Why are you here, anyway? What made you come here and say "This shit is awful,"? Tell me, I want to know! Also what is this "real music" you speak of? Like who? Have some examples? TELL ME SOMETHING USEFUL HERE.

There was another one where this guy had auto-tuned the song and someone said "This is just awful. I hate how auto-tune is starting to overshadow the real artists. It's just sad." While this is true that auto-tuning turns anyone into a singer, I sometimes like songs with auto-tune. Seriously, sometimes it makes it really entertaining. That's just me! Am I saying they are better than other people? No, I LOVE people who can actually sing. But my problem comes with the end statement. "Starting to overshadow the real artists." Oh really? Like who? Don't name classic rock bands from the 80-90 era. That doesn't count, as that is a different era and they are not uprising bands. They are well footed by now. So tell me, who are these modern era people being overshadowed? Got any examples? Links to bands? Well? I'm waiting.

That isn't just me being an asshole (I clearly am because you are making me angry), I sincerely want you to point me in the direction of other bands. You say they are real music, so I want to see! Enlighten me! Show me the way of these bands! I want to see what you call "real music." I'm tired of people making vague, half-assed answers and then running off into obscurity. Seriously, why even bother?

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The Problems I Have

We all have our own issues, and I can almost guarantee people think they are unique with a lot of their problems. Honestly though, you probably aren't. Many people have been in the same boat as you, so saying "You don't understand!" pretty much seals your fate against getting help. You think your problems are unique, but hey, everyone has them. Anyway, here are just some things that kind of annoy me or are problems for me.

Pet Peeve: People Who Chew with Their Mouth Open.

I cannot even begin to describe how much I loathe the sound of people chewing. It annoys me to the point of deciding hundreds of ways to murder said person. In order to hold in my utter rage and still the desire for murder, I basically dig my nails into my skin as hard as I can. It can't be healthy, but when you tell said person 300 times to chew with their mouth closed, and they still do it, I basically just give up. A friend of mine once looked up this peeve on the internet and found out it is a trait in your DNA. This sound making me want to kill people I was fucking born with. That is weird and upsetting. I'd like to sit through dinner without thinking of burning someone alive, or stabbing them with my fork.

Having/Not Having Money

I hate not having money, but having money is a blessing and a curse for me. I know I'm not alone here, but when I have money to spend, I SPEND IT. I can blow through $300 in a day, not giving a fuck. It doesn't hit me till my bank account is empty, and then I basically sit there and cry. Now, when I don't have a steady income, I won't do this, as I know this money has to last me at least x months or days or whatever. Then I will spend rarely. But when I have a job and steady income? Oh boy, just try and stop me from buying clothes and games and whatever the fuck else I don't need. Seriously, go ahead and try. I DARE YOU.

Playing Games with Other People

MMO's and other online games are both a blessing and a curse. Playing with friends is always fun, but once you get stuck with strangers, it can go one of two ways. People will be utter assholes to you and make you want to quit the game for all eternity, or you will meet awesome people who you befriend and maybe friend on Facebook. Seriously guys, it's 2012. There is nothing wrong with internet friends! There are also those gray area people who just float on by, but you get my point. The thing is I really enjoy online gaming, but sometimes you just look off into the distance, your whole team falling apart and everyone at each others throats, and ask the world why. Why do you act this way? Calling somebody bad isn't going to make them better. Actually help them out sometimes. Kindness goes a long way bro.

Listening to Other People

Guys, I have the attention span of a goldfish. I know the majority of people I know do as well. But sometimes, when you start telling me a really long story (especially if we are in a car or something) I will totally zone the fuck out. It just happens. Your story could be really enthralling, but it is just what happens! I zone out all the time. In the middle of work, while chatting with people, while gaming online, while reading. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, I just retreat into my mind and get lost. It's like a labyrinth in there, and once I go in there is no coming out. Granted I'll suddenly realize I haven't heard a word of your story, but it is nothing against you. I will really try my hardest sometimes, but don't get mad if I tune out. I will let you know if I honestly don't care about what you are saying.

I Am Really Nervous When It Comes to My Music

I love listening to music. I really do, and I know almost every else does to. When I'm driving around I will blast whatever the hell I want, because it is usually just me. However, the moment someone else gets in the car, I don't know how to function anymore. I know what music they like, usually, but I sit there with my iPhone, trying to choose something I can put on that we will both enjoy and won't cause them to turn to me with those judging eyes and say "You listen to THAT?" It's not that I care most of the time, but my desire to make the ride enjoyable for all parties makes it hard. I like to listen to specific music when I drive, you know? Sometimes that is Dubstep, sometimes trashy Pop, and others Classic Rock that I listen to with my parents. I have these moods, and you being in the car will cause me to skip 80% of my loved tracks. I don't hate you, I just hate you right now.

Do NOT Fuck with My Morning Routine

I have a specific schedule when I get up. This usually involves immediately jumping in the shower and then getting ready for the day. I am very dead set on this in the morning, especially when I am getting ready for work. For work, I get up at 8 to shower, and try to leave by 8:45/8:50. If I am not in the shower by like 8:05, it guarantees I will be late. I can't explain it, it just WILL HAPPEN. My sister was home today and she was in the shower when I got up, so I didn't get in till like 8:10. And, no big surprise, I was late for work. Now, it's really not her fault, cause she didn't know that was when I liked to get up. Still, I spent most of the morning just angry. I told myself to chill, cause it was basically just one day. It didn't help that I like to play music in the morning too, so with sharing a room with my brother while she is home, I can't do that either. So, basically, I had no way to chill this morning. Good thing it's only for a few days, otherwise I would start getting really cranky.

I Wake Up Each Morning with a Song in My Head

It's not really a problem, but it's one of my favourite things about me. Each morning, I get a different song stuck in my head. It will never say anything about the day ahead, or the mood I'm in. It is just the song of the day. Today it is Let It Go - Dragonette. I fell in love with Dragonette relatively recently, and this song is so catchy I love it. I am half tempted to sit here and dance at my desk, because I just love it so, but everyone will totally judge me. I'm doing work, I promise! (These posts are usually written over a long span of time, as I do work, write a little, do more work, etc.). Sometimes they are sad songs, sometimes they are happy songs. It doesn't matter, as it will never affect my day, just will be something there to keep me entertained. The only time I am ever concerned is when I don't have a song in my head. That usually spells trouble ahead.

Sometimes I Just Need to do Nothing

I get into these really weird moods sometimes. They are hard to explain, but I legit just need to be left alone. I don't want to talk about it usually, as it is just something I need to work through. It sometimes lasts a few hours, or a few days. I get over it pretty quickly mostly, but during that time I just need to be alone. I just need that me time. It's sometimes nice when someone is there just to hang out and distract me. One day I shifted into this mood while hanging out with a friend, and he was nice enough to just keep me company. It wasn't his fault, and there was nothing I could do about it, but it was really sweet of him! It was also cool that he understood that I just didn't want to talk about it.

I Have Attachment Issues

This is the biggest thing. I cannot stress enough how hard it is for me to get attached to somebody. Yes, occasionally I get that puppy love and fall hard, but for the most part I have no idea how I feel about people. It is even harder when said people like me back. I don't know why, there's just nothing. A lot of times it's really concerning because I can never find a reason to not like said person, but it's just empty. There are also aspects of my life that I will basically tell anyone that asks. However, there are things that you could torture me to try to get out, and I just can't. They usually aren't even that important or interesting, you just aren't allowed to know. Sorry, I just am really guarded about certain things. A friend pointed that out once. The interesting thing is that I basically wear my heart on my sleeve. It is painfully obvious how I feel about people, and it's actually hilarious when people cannot read me. I'm basically an open book when it comes to my emotions, there's just nothing I can do about it.

I don't even have trust issues, which you think would cause a lot of the problems. No one has really turned around and stabbed me hard before (well, maybe once, but that is longer over with) but for the most part I'm pretty good upfront about knowing who I can trust and who I cannot. Ah well.

Guess this ends my.. rant? I don't know what to call this.

Till next time, loves.
~G

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Goals of the Summer

So I decided not to go NSFW. I'll just regale you with other tales of mystery and suspense. Or just tales of tales. Who knows!

I've suddenly set some goals for the summer. I realized today that I need to get some stuff done, especially because my last year of college is coming up and I am not ready for the real world! I'm already taking steps: moving to my own place down in VA, looking for a job, preparing for an internship, etc. The big thing there though is the internship, and I am TERRIFIED of the concept.

You see, in order for me to graduate, I have to have taken an internship at some gaming company. There are no maybes, without it I CANNOT graduate. That blows major chunks. It doesn't help that I don't feel ready for it either, like my work just isn't up to par compared to everyone's work. Who wants mediocre? No one, that's who.

So, in order to get my portfolio better and give me something I want to show off, one of my goals this summer is to create at least one really good 3D model. I don't care who or what it is, I just need something to be like "BAM MOTHERFUCKERS. LOOK AT THIS SHIT. WHO DOESN'T WANT SOME OF THIS?"

That is something I would love to actually say in an interview.

Anyway, I just need to work on my skills and get better. I figure if I can pump out a few before next semester, maybe I can do something with my life later.

The second goal is less important, but I really want to learn French again. I remember bits and pieces, and using Google translate I do a lot of "Oh hey, I actually knew this one." Then I just start looking up words that I don't know. I guess I just want to be able to speak another language. I mean, I really want to speak a lot of languages, but one step at a time! A refresher would be good for me anyway, something to pad the ol' resume. Not really, I just love the language.


The third thing can wait till I'm down in VA, but I want to get in shape! I started running a while ago, but with nowhere to really run around BPT, I don't ever feel like going. Plus, if I do want to go, I have to steal someone's car and get it back to them when they need it. I can't just get up and go, and it puts a damper on things. It makes me not want to go out and run, cause it is SO MUCH EFFORT.

This is me complaining about being lazy. Yup.

The last thing is, well, this blog! I want to do writing for games, so using this blog to post and whatnot will hopefully help me get into the writing mood. I've been putting together information for a novel I want to write, or a webcomic I want to do, but it is still in very early development. Basically, I've made up a bunch of characters, so now I have to come up with the larger details, like the story and world and whatnot. But we shall see! Hopefully that will go somewhere haha.

But alas, I must return to work. Today has been slow, so I'm writing this inbetween working and when I have downtime, so it's not like I'm not working or anything. I will see you lovelies sometime in the near future!

~G

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

A Fresh Start

So I think I want to start writing in this blog again. It was fun when I used to do it, especially because I always had something interesting to talk about. I also just miss the writing in it, the laughs shared with friends and the general something to do each week. It doesn't help that I've been reading a lot of Thought Catalog and the stories there make me want to write.

The big thing though, I'm tempted to make this blog a bit "NSFW." I have this habit of disappearing randomly and spending the night at someone's place, or just generally doing things that you wouldn't share with your family. I feel like it would be fun to just tell these things to the internet, because hey, I already tell strangers more than I probably should. I've always been an open book, especially because apparently I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I don't want this to be some LiveJournal thing, me expressing my deepest emotions and wanting sympathy from strangers even though I pretend to not care. Don't get me wrong, I loved LJ when I was on there. I just feel like it became more of a diary, and I don't want that.

Though, I DO want to share stories about things that bug me, or like this past week have caused me to have emotional breakdowns at night while I freak out over things that really don't matter. Who knows!

What I'm getting at is, I'm starting over again. I miss just writing in general, and so this will be me doing this all over again. I'll update at least once a week for now, but I don't really know how long that will last. The first real update will come sometime tomorrow I think. It will probably be about my debauchery on Grindr, and the stupid decisions I have made that turned out REALLY great. That is only if I decided to take the NSFW approach, BUT WE SHALL SEE.

~G