School

I got to thinking about the past 15 years of my life. It's a weird thing, realizing how long you have been around and all the things you have done. One thing I've been thinking about is school, from Kindergarten all the way to College. It's weird how our perspectives of school change as the years go by. Let me explain.

You probably remember your first day of school. For me it was pretty horrible, or at least I think it was. If it was anything like my first day of high school or college, then yeah, it was pretty bad. Anyway, after that things picked up and we would spend all day in the classroom, the same teacher teaching us all the subjects we needed to know, getting us ready for the next grade level. At my school, the grades were divided into three clusters; K-2nd in the first lunch wave, 3rd-5th in the second wave and 6th-8th in the last wave (yes my school spanned 9 years, I'll get to that in a moment). As you progressed through each grade, you would learn and do more to prepare you for the next level, so on and so forth till you would finally graduate and be done with it.

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Quick interlude. Both my parents were working during this time of our lives, so neither of them could make it to pick us up after school. Instead, we got to this LOVELY little place called the AFTER SCHOOL PROGRAM /sarcasm. This was for kids who's parents were unable to pick them up due to work and were probably unable to get home any other way. My sister, brother and I all would end up in this program for several hours as we waited for 5 to roll around so our parents would rescue us. I HATED this place. I knew no one in it and they always tried to occupy us with all these events and activities. It always started off with doing homework and then watching movies or playing some sort of game. I never wanted to do any of this, I just wanted to go home. Eventually, my mother stopped working and was able to pick us up after school.

You might also be curious as to why we didn't take the bus. Well, our house was too close to the school for a bus stop, so we never had one. Ever. We were on our own when getting to school. That's where the fucking After School Program came in.

Anyway, INTERLUDE OVER. 

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Unlike most schools, my school was both my elementary school AND my middle school. I've heard most people do up till, if I remember right, 5th and then move on to middle school. Not for me. Instead, I was stuck with, for the most part, the same 50 people (on my grade level) for all 9 years I spent at the school. For me it wasn't strange or anything, it was what I was used to. Anyway, we spent the day mostly the same through the school year. Same teacher for every subject and then having recess and lunch at some point. It wasn't until 7th that we started switching teachers. That was also the point where we had schedules! I mean, we sat with the same 25 people (based on homeroom teacher) for the entire year, but whatever. It was the first time we got to move around during the day and get to visit different teachers. It was a whole new experience, but nothing exciting. I mean, who was excited for school back then? Definitely not me, since I was one of those kids who didn't fit in all that well. I had my small cluster of friends, and I was okay with that.

At the end of 8th grade was when things really got switched. I had to apply to find myself a High School. It was either I find one or I would go to Central, which was the public school the majority of the people I knew were going. There was no way I was going to go to that place. Seriously, I was going to hate life if I went there. Instead, I applied to the same school as my sister, which was also the same school my mother and her brother went to. WEIRD RIGHT? Some of the same teachers were even there.

So time comes and goes, I get into the school on the "Honors' level courses (There were three tiers: CP (College Prep, the lowest level), Honors, and High Honors). I was decently happy about this, and was ready to get started at my new school. It wasn't until the summer was over that it hit me: I had been with the same people for 9 whole years and never really had to advance my friend making skills. I was also the only person from my old school going there. In other words, I was by myself. My sister and I went to get our books on our "Book Day", which was essentially us getting up at dawn to go to the school and retrieve our uniforms and books for the school year. It was rather depressing for me, as my sister knew a lot of people and I was walking around with a bunch of juniors. It was rather unnerving. It didn't help that my first day of school was complete and utter shit.

The first day of school is officially only for the upperclassmen: Sophomores, Juniors and Seniors. The next day they have off and the Freshman go. I got up early in the morning, put on my uniform and made my way to the bus stop. This was the first time I had ever had to ride a bus, and needless to say I was NERVOUS. I listened to my iPod at the bus stop, but it ended up dying. There was another kid at the stop, and I decided to try to talk to him. It didn't work out well, the kid just didn't give a fuck. (I'm actually glad, because he turned out to be an ASSHOLE. He was kicked off the football team because he was a fucking moron and failed ALL of his classes. Eventually was kicked out of the school). I rode the bus along with the 5 other freshman, sitting by myself somewhere sort of near the front. When we got to school the herded all of us into the cafeteria for a sort of "Freshman Social." I saw the kid from my bus stop hovering over this one table, talking to someone and was like "HEY. MAYBE I SHOULD SIT THERE SO THEY WILL SIT WITH ME." I put my stuff down and sat at the table. The flock of people then headed away from me. I was sitting by myself. All. Alone. The only person in the entire fucking cafeteria. I couldn't believe. What an idiot I must of looked like. How antisocial people must have thought I was. I. Was. Devastated.

I had come to school that day with one thing in mind. No matter what, I was going to make a friend. Just one, I didn't care who. Just someone. Anyone, so I wouldn't have to be alone. Oh god ANYONE. I slumped on my bench and pretty much gave up. It was less than an hour into my Freshman year and I was done. One of the Seniors who was monitoring the event, came over and started talking to me. The problem was I KNEW this was just pity and I couldn't bring myself to really give a shit. Instead we had nothing more than filler talk and then were sent off to our classes. The rest of the day was a blur, I remember my teachers being nice and it was a half day so I didn't have to deal with real shit. Eventually the day was over and I made my way home. My sister and her friend were over (at least I think they were? I remember my sister being home because she had the day off.) They asked me how it was, and I responded with me "I'm not really fine but I don't want to talk about it because my day was that shitty and I will probably never enjoy school because of this bullshit" fines and went to the computer room. I remember talking to my friend Ashley and letting her know how shitty my day was. I think she was doing alright over at Central. I think the conversation was funny, but I'm not super sure. The good news was I had a three day weekend and wouldn't have to worry about anything for a while.

My parents came home later that night and asked how my day went. I gave the same "Fine" and a few details about my day. I, however, dreaded the Tuesday that was coming. It was a real day of school, with everyone and LUNCH and GYM (I think that was Mondays, so that was good at least). I cannot even begin to describe the dread I felt come Monday. I woke up as usual on Tuesday, left with my sister, got on the bus (which was a LOT more crowded this time around. I probably sat with my Sister, but that's not really important). The day then went by as awful as I thought it was. No one talked to me and I was pretty much a zombie most of the time. At lunch I just sat at a random table and just blended into the surroundings. It's hard to get out of a rut, but I did try to make friends. Things didn't improve, until Wednesday came around.

I had noticed there was this one girl who was in most of my classes. She looked nice enough, and I was determined to talk to her. I mean, I really needed a friend and I was getting really unnerved about being at school at this point. At lunch I went to sit at the usual table to find out someone sat where I wanted to. I moved to a different table and then talked to this one dude (who turned out to be really weird) but also talked with this girl Alexandra. She ended up being in my French class and a few others. We talked about our French teacher and how much of a drag he was. We then proceeded to French where he glared us down the whole time. Seriously, he was this crazy old dude who DEMANDED respect and HE WASN'T TAKIN' YO SHIT FOOL. I hated him. He's not important though.

So after French I headed over to my study hall where, luck would have it, the girl ALSO had. I was EXCITED. However, this douchebag was talking to her and making it impossible to interrupt. I sat diagonally from her and sat there. What was I supposed to do? I was running over what to do when, lucky me, her Schedule fell (I later found out she knocked it off on purpose, but who am I to complain? She is like my best friend ever. If it wasn't for her my High School years would have been the worst). I reached down, grabbed it, said "You dropped this." I got a thanks and then followed up with a "Hey, aren't you in X class?" She was, and in fact, was in most of my classes (OH HEY HOW CONVENIENT.) This girl, Lauren, went on to become my best friend, and I thank her for entrapping me into her life.

You know that schedule Lauren dropped? I noticed that she had starred off a bunch of her classes (almost all of them), but didn't think much of it. Turns out she was scoping out which classes we had together and was marking them off. Sort of creepy, but I'm glad none the less.

After that, like everyone else, I didn't care much for High School. I joined a club and hung out with my friends in the usual "LOL LOOK AT US WE ARE SO COOL HIGH SCHOOLERS" fashion (not on purpose! It just sort of happens) and we always had a lot of fun. We were like the sub-popular group, mostly because everyone was afraid of Lauren. I honestly don't know why, she is fantastic. She ended up becoming really popular later in the years. People just suddenly really liked her.

Also, I don't know about the rest of you, but I was blissfully unaware of all the sex, drugs and alcohol that went down during my High School years. I sort of wish I could have been invited to all the parties and bullshit that went down, but in the end I'm glad I wasn't. I mean, one trip I found out from my friend, who wasn't even on the god damn trip, that someone had brought a fuckton of alcohol, one kid got a tattoo and this girl gave a guy a blowjob, all within the first hour of us getting to the hotel. I don't even know man. It kind of made me realize how crazy everyone actually was.

With the High School years running out, I applied to College and was accepted to several decent schools. One of them, DePaul, was really nice and had a really unique Game Design program. It was, however, in Chicago, and just wasn't the place for me. I accepted my offer to GMU and was excited to go. Towards the end of the summer I met a few people online through the Freshmen boards, and was excited to go. However, when it came time to go, I was no longer ready, was freaking out and upset the whole time, and overall miserable. It didn't help that orientation went TERRIBLY and ruined my outlook on life.

Side note. I used the terrible experience of my first day of High School and the struggle of such a huge transition as my letter to all the colleges I applied. I think it was the reason I got into so many ha ha.

After the six hour drive down, we stayed at a hotel (my mother and I) and moved in the next day. I had to go to this little assembly where they explained a bunch of shit to me. It was okay, and I tried to enjoy myself that first night, but it didn't go well. Things turned around a few nights later, and have looked up ever since then. Now College has been a blast, even with all the work.

BUT WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THIS? What I wanted to point out was that no one really WANTS to go to school from K-8th, and then the only reason to want to go to school in High School is to see your friends. In College, however, it's a whole new story.

In High School everything was set up for me. All my classes, where I was to go, where I was to be, all set and ready to go before I was back in school. We only got some control Senior year, where Honors and below got to choose one elective. It wasn't much, but it was the first time we got a choice in the matter. In College? We choose our schedules. Don't want to get up before 12? Pick late classes. Need a break between classes? Go ahead and make it. Want Fridays off? Why the fuck not? With a little work and clever scheduling, you can design whatever works for you. And on top of that, no more 6 straight hours of classes (unless that's what you want, you crazy kid you). You have so much control over your schedule. I mean, all that spare time is now spent working on papers, projects and having mental breakdowns over all that, which is then made okay by all the parties, crazy nights and bullshit that you do.

It's College. Go fucking crazy.