So something that I have always enjoyed is writing. I really do. Ever since I was little. I used to take my dad's old laptop, make a fort in my room, and then write random stories about whatever I could think of. A lot of times it involved my stuffed animals and random things like that, but it was always a lot of fun. At my school we always had stuff like the "Young Authors" competition and things of that nature. I even once got invited in 3rd grade to go to this place and write a story. I remember they gave you an introduction and you had to come up with something from there. The one I had was about finding a random trap door in the woods, and I wrote this story about doors leading into basically other dimensions. It was great.
I also got into a lot of trouble that day. I didn't do any of my morning homework (because I was going to be at the thing until like, 1 or something) and so I figured I could put it all off. But when I got back the teacher wanted my work and I was like OH GOD NOOOOOOO. Ah well.
There was this one time in 8th grade where I got put into this special group for Young Authors. The idea was that we were good writers and this was to help us become even better! I was excited, because I had been planning mine for a while and was looking forward to it. So one day, while everyone else was put aside to work on their books. So the special group is sitting at this one table and this lady introduces herself as our mentor (I guess? I don't really know what else to call her). She then asks us about our story ideas and we go around the table.
See, my idea was that I wanted to have this story that takes place in a fantasy world (of course. All I do is fantasy) and this boy's father is a very important scout for the kingdom. But one day, while out and about, his father gets this important document that must make it's way to one of the forward bases (or something), but the father dies and the son has to take on the task. It was basically super important that the father died, it kind of drove the story.
So I tell the lady my idea, but she doesn't like the fact that the father dies. I tell her it's kind of the driving thing for the story. She tells me to keep him alive. I legit got SO MAD. I tried to find a work around it, but she basically derailed the whole story. What was I supposed to do instead? I spent forever trying to find out another way to make it interesting, but she basically wanted it to be all happy and rainbows or some shit. I gave up, wrote out a story in like two days and handed it in. I hated what I had written, because I was no longer enjoying the experience. My sister, in 5th grade, wrote a story about a girl who cuts herself. Granted, she got sent to the guidance counselor and our parents called concerned there was trouble at home, but if she could do that in fifth, why couldn't I do death in 8th? Ugh. It was awful.
Anyway, out of all my goals for the summer basically the only one I have kept is the damn writing one. I feel bad, ya know? I get home at like 5:30 and then I just don't want to do anything. It's like, I WANT to work on all this stuff, but getting started is the hard part. People usually say if you can get past 3 days you can usually succeed.
It's pretty true.
Also, random, but I suddenly decided I'm going to California. I think after I graduate, but I'm not sure. I don't know. All I know is I am going to save up and go. Why? Just because. I've realized I haven't really gone anywhere, and I was reading this article about how going to new places kind of changes your perspective on things. Since I probably can't afford to go to another country (as much as I would LOVE to), so I figured why not Cali? I have a cousin there, so I could live with her for a while and work at whatever job. My mom told my sister she should go and learn to bar tend from her. I would much rather do that, so I think it would be fun. Plus, maybe it will help me get a real job, as I either have to go east or west coast for the big companies.
I just want to do something spontaneous and outrageous.
I made a list last night of most of the stuff I need/want to get done. I forgot about a few things, but if I start putting the list together it helps me knock things off. If it's all there and an overwhelming list I'll usually be like "Okay, let's get something done to shorten this bitch up!" It helps that I put a lot of stupid stuff on there, like clean room or do something on a game I am playing. If I start knocking stuff off I get into this "YEAH LET'S CROSS MORE STUFF OFF WOOO" kind of mode. It's pretty fun.
My friend Claudia and I have this story thing going on. Basically, we write letters to each other in a persona and make stories. This one is taking place in the 1920's and I own a bunch of Speakeasies. Everything is very vague as we start to develop the story, but so far it's been a lot of fun. I just have to do a bunch of research for my response letter because I have to fabricate a whole story for the meetup of these two other characters and I want it to sound really legit. I'm very excited though.
Google docs has basically become my new best friend. I've been writing down a lot of information for story ideas and other things and it helps to have it all online so I can access it from anywhere. I used to have a word doc that I would transfer around, but that has the problem of getting lost or being the wrong version. Plus it's a hassle.
That's all for now. I'll try to come up with something interesting to write about soon.
~G
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Music
One thing that gets me really riled up is when you ask someone "What music do you like?" and they respond, "Oh, all kinds of music."
You are lying through your teeth, you scumbag.
While it may be true that you like different kinds of music, just give me a straight answer. Do you prefer metal? Do you have a soft spot for trashy pop? Give me something to work with here! I have known too many people who will answer like this. I know you are just being nice, but when you actually listen to death metal 90% of the time, you clearly have a preference.
Allow me to explain. You can like a wide variety, but when you are casually listening, you often will fall back on certain bands or certain music types. This is very true, and we all know it. Why not just tell me "Oh, I spend a lot of time listening to Britney Spears," or "I listen to the Ramones almost exclusively." I won't judge you, I am asking because I want to know if we have something in common! Maybe we both went to see the same concert. Just be honest with me, don't give me vague bullshit.
Anyway, back to the explanation. If you open up your iTunes library or whatever you use, who has your highest play counts? Or, if you have something like Last.fm or Spotify, what are your top bands? Let's take my page for example, and you will see my weird taste.
So this is my last.fm page. Let's start with my top bands, as that is the easiest place to start.
#1: Britney Spears. Genre: Pop. I can't even begin to describe my love for this woman. I have seen her live and I would kill to see her again. I can listen to her all the time, and her catchy pop beats make me want to dance until the world ends (see what I did there? Don't hurt me!). She ranks the top at almost 4k tracked plays. That's just the tracked ones, mind you. It is actually way higher than that. If someone asks me what bands I like, Britney is one of the firsts to be named.
#2: Emilie Autumn. Genre: Gothic Industrial. Another I've seen in concert (I don't go to concerts much. I have been to three total! It's hard to find people who like the same music as I do). EA is an interesting lady, and I fell in love with her when my friend Heather introduced me to Marry Me. She has an interesting style, and god damn is she AMAZING live. This girl is insane, and I will love her forever.
#3: Lady Gaga. Genre: Pop. Well, I don't have much to say. Gaga and I have had a fall out. I love Fame Monster, but Born This Way isn't doing it for me. Another pop for the list! I really do enjoy catchy pop. I can't help it, if I can dance to it I will probably listen to it.
#4: MSI. Genre: Industrial Jungle Punk. Whatever the fuck that means. Don't listen to them so much anymore, but got into them from a friend of mine. I love the craziness of their songs. So good. Another Industrial here.
#5: Alice In Videoland. Genre: Electronic Synthpop. I won't lie, Pop and Electronic are two of my favorite genres. I just love those beats and sounds. Sort of another pop, but I put them more in the Electronic category!
I won't keep listing, because it will just turn into a "GO LISTEN TO THESE BANDS OMG I LOVE THEM" post rather than me telling all of you to stop responding with "I love all kinds hehe!" But some of the tops include Robots in Disguise, The Receiving End of Sirens, Cute is What We Aim For, The Academy Is..., Emery, Skrillex, Deadmau5, IAMX and Ke$ha.
See, like I said, I have a weird taste in music. And that's okay to say! You can be like "Oh I have an eclectic taste in music," or "Oh god, I have such a weird taste. Don't judge me." Seriously, that is okay to say! I know you aren't lying!
Also, let's be real here. Music is very subjective. There is no such thing as a "good" or "bad" band (this is not true, but I hope you understand what I mean by this!). Everyone likes what they like. Sure, I'll sit here and bash certain bands because I hate everything about them. I know out there someone does like them, but for me they sound like nails on a chalkboard. Essentially, this makes music reviews totally and completely useless.
I was on iTunes the other day looking up bands, and while I was listening to a band I decided to scroll through the comments. One had one star and said something along the lines of "All these reviews are from fanboys, go listen to REAL MUSIC." First off, well no shit Sherlock. Of course the people reviewing this are fanboys. The people on the page LIKE THE BAND. Why are you here, anyway? What made you come here and say "This shit is awful,"? Tell me, I want to know! Also what is this "real music" you speak of? Like who? Have some examples? TELL ME SOMETHING USEFUL HERE.
There was another one where this guy had auto-tuned the song and someone said "This is just awful. I hate how auto-tune is starting to overshadow the real artists. It's just sad." While this is true that auto-tuning turns anyone into a singer, I sometimes like songs with auto-tune. Seriously, sometimes it makes it really entertaining. That's just me! Am I saying they are better than other people? No, I LOVE people who can actually sing. But my problem comes with the end statement. "Starting to overshadow the real artists." Oh really? Like who? Don't name classic rock bands from the 80-90 era. That doesn't count, as that is a different era and they are not uprising bands. They are well footed by now. So tell me, who are these modern era people being overshadowed? Got any examples? Links to bands? Well? I'm waiting.
That isn't just me being an asshole (I clearly am because you are making me angry), I sincerely want you to point me in the direction of other bands. You say they are real music, so I want to see! Enlighten me! Show me the way of these bands! I want to see what you call "real music." I'm tired of people making vague, half-assed answers and then running off into obscurity. Seriously, why even bother?
You are lying through your teeth, you scumbag.
While it may be true that you like different kinds of music, just give me a straight answer. Do you prefer metal? Do you have a soft spot for trashy pop? Give me something to work with here! I have known too many people who will answer like this. I know you are just being nice, but when you actually listen to death metal 90% of the time, you clearly have a preference.
Allow me to explain. You can like a wide variety, but when you are casually listening, you often will fall back on certain bands or certain music types. This is very true, and we all know it. Why not just tell me "Oh, I spend a lot of time listening to Britney Spears," or "I listen to the Ramones almost exclusively." I won't judge you, I am asking because I want to know if we have something in common! Maybe we both went to see the same concert. Just be honest with me, don't give me vague bullshit.
Anyway, back to the explanation. If you open up your iTunes library or whatever you use, who has your highest play counts? Or, if you have something like Last.fm or Spotify, what are your top bands? Let's take my page for example, and you will see my weird taste.
So this is my last.fm page. Let's start with my top bands, as that is the easiest place to start.
#1: Britney Spears. Genre: Pop. I can't even begin to describe my love for this woman. I have seen her live and I would kill to see her again. I can listen to her all the time, and her catchy pop beats make me want to dance until the world ends (see what I did there? Don't hurt me!). She ranks the top at almost 4k tracked plays. That's just the tracked ones, mind you. It is actually way higher than that. If someone asks me what bands I like, Britney is one of the firsts to be named.
#2: Emilie Autumn. Genre: Gothic Industrial. Another I've seen in concert (I don't go to concerts much. I have been to three total! It's hard to find people who like the same music as I do). EA is an interesting lady, and I fell in love with her when my friend Heather introduced me to Marry Me. She has an interesting style, and god damn is she AMAZING live. This girl is insane, and I will love her forever.
#3: Lady Gaga. Genre: Pop. Well, I don't have much to say. Gaga and I have had a fall out. I love Fame Monster, but Born This Way isn't doing it for me. Another pop for the list! I really do enjoy catchy pop. I can't help it, if I can dance to it I will probably listen to it.
#4: MSI. Genre: Industrial Jungle Punk. Whatever the fuck that means. Don't listen to them so much anymore, but got into them from a friend of mine. I love the craziness of their songs. So good. Another Industrial here.
#5: Alice In Videoland. Genre: Electronic Synthpop. I won't lie, Pop and Electronic are two of my favorite genres. I just love those beats and sounds. Sort of another pop, but I put them more in the Electronic category!
I won't keep listing, because it will just turn into a "GO LISTEN TO THESE BANDS OMG I LOVE THEM" post rather than me telling all of you to stop responding with "I love all kinds hehe!" But some of the tops include Robots in Disguise, The Receiving End of Sirens, Cute is What We Aim For, The Academy Is..., Emery, Skrillex, Deadmau5, IAMX and Ke$ha.
See, like I said, I have a weird taste in music. And that's okay to say! You can be like "Oh I have an eclectic taste in music," or "Oh god, I have such a weird taste. Don't judge me." Seriously, that is okay to say! I know you aren't lying!
Also, let's be real here. Music is very subjective. There is no such thing as a "good" or "bad" band (this is not true, but I hope you understand what I mean by this!). Everyone likes what they like. Sure, I'll sit here and bash certain bands because I hate everything about them. I know out there someone does like them, but for me they sound like nails on a chalkboard. Essentially, this makes music reviews totally and completely useless.
I was on iTunes the other day looking up bands, and while I was listening to a band I decided to scroll through the comments. One had one star and said something along the lines of "All these reviews are from fanboys, go listen to REAL MUSIC." First off, well no shit Sherlock. Of course the people reviewing this are fanboys. The people on the page LIKE THE BAND. Why are you here, anyway? What made you come here and say "This shit is awful,"? Tell me, I want to know! Also what is this "real music" you speak of? Like who? Have some examples? TELL ME SOMETHING USEFUL HERE.
There was another one where this guy had auto-tuned the song and someone said "This is just awful. I hate how auto-tune is starting to overshadow the real artists. It's just sad." While this is true that auto-tuning turns anyone into a singer, I sometimes like songs with auto-tune. Seriously, sometimes it makes it really entertaining. That's just me! Am I saying they are better than other people? No, I LOVE people who can actually sing. But my problem comes with the end statement. "Starting to overshadow the real artists." Oh really? Like who? Don't name classic rock bands from the 80-90 era. That doesn't count, as that is a different era and they are not uprising bands. They are well footed by now. So tell me, who are these modern era people being overshadowed? Got any examples? Links to bands? Well? I'm waiting.
That isn't just me being an asshole (I clearly am because you are making me angry), I sincerely want you to point me in the direction of other bands. You say they are real music, so I want to see! Enlighten me! Show me the way of these bands! I want to see what you call "real music." I'm tired of people making vague, half-assed answers and then running off into obscurity. Seriously, why even bother?
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
The Problems I Have
We all have our own issues, and I can almost guarantee people think they are unique with a lot of their problems. Honestly though, you probably aren't. Many people have been in the same boat as you, so saying "You don't understand!" pretty much seals your fate against getting help. You think your problems are unique, but hey, everyone has them. Anyway, here are just some things that kind of annoy me or are problems for me.
Pet Peeve: People Who Chew with Their Mouth Open.
I cannot even begin to describe how much I loathe the sound of people chewing. It annoys me to the point of deciding hundreds of ways to murder said person. In order to hold in my utter rage and still the desire for murder, I basically dig my nails into my skin as hard as I can. It can't be healthy, but when you tell said person 300 times to chew with their mouth closed, and they still do it, I basically just give up. A friend of mine once looked up this peeve on the internet and found out it is a trait in your DNA. This sound making me want to kill people I was fucking born with. That is weird and upsetting. I'd like to sit through dinner without thinking of burning someone alive, or stabbing them with my fork.
Having/Not Having Money
I hate not having money, but having money is a blessing and a curse for me. I know I'm not alone here, but when I have money to spend, I SPEND IT. I can blow through $300 in a day, not giving a fuck. It doesn't hit me till my bank account is empty, and then I basically sit there and cry. Now, when I don't have a steady income, I won't do this, as I know this money has to last me at least x months or days or whatever. Then I will spend rarely. But when I have a job and steady income? Oh boy, just try and stop me from buying clothes and games and whatever the fuck else I don't need. Seriously, go ahead and try. I DARE YOU.
Playing Games with Other People
MMO's and other online games are both a blessing and a curse. Playing with friends is always fun, but once you get stuck with strangers, it can go one of two ways. People will be utter assholes to you and make you want to quit the game for all eternity, or you will meet awesome people who you befriend and maybe friend on Facebook. Seriously guys, it's 2012. There is nothing wrong with internet friends! There are also those gray area people who just float on by, but you get my point. The thing is I really enjoy online gaming, but sometimes you just look off into the distance, your whole team falling apart and everyone at each others throats, and ask the world why. Why do you act this way? Calling somebody bad isn't going to make them better. Actually help them out sometimes. Kindness goes a long way bro.
Listening to Other People
Guys, I have the attention span of a goldfish. I know the majority of people I know do as well. But sometimes, when you start telling me a really long story (especially if we are in a car or something) I will totally zone the fuck out. It just happens. Your story could be really enthralling, but it is just what happens! I zone out all the time. In the middle of work, while chatting with people, while gaming online, while reading. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, I just retreat into my mind and get lost. It's like a labyrinth in there, and once I go in there is no coming out. Granted I'll suddenly realize I haven't heard a word of your story, but it is nothing against you. I will really try my hardest sometimes, but don't get mad if I tune out. I will let you know if I honestly don't care about what you are saying.
I Am Really Nervous When It Comes to My Music
I love listening to music. I really do, and I know almost every else does to. When I'm driving around I will blast whatever the hell I want, because it is usually just me. However, the moment someone else gets in the car, I don't know how to function anymore. I know what music they like, usually, but I sit there with my iPhone, trying to choose something I can put on that we will both enjoy and won't cause them to turn to me with those judging eyes and say "You listen to THAT?" It's not that I care most of the time, but my desire to make the ride enjoyable for all parties makes it hard. I like to listen to specific music when I drive, you know? Sometimes that is Dubstep, sometimes trashy Pop, and others Classic Rock that I listen to with my parents. I have these moods, and you being in the car will cause me to skip 80% of my loved tracks. I don't hate you, I just hate you right now.
Do NOT Fuck with My Morning Routine
I have a specific schedule when I get up. This usually involves immediately jumping in the shower and then getting ready for the day. I am very dead set on this in the morning, especially when I am getting ready for work. For work, I get up at 8 to shower, and try to leave by 8:45/8:50. If I am not in the shower by like 8:05, it guarantees I will be late. I can't explain it, it just WILL HAPPEN. My sister was home today and she was in the shower when I got up, so I didn't get in till like 8:10. And, no big surprise, I was late for work. Now, it's really not her fault, cause she didn't know that was when I liked to get up. Still, I spent most of the morning just angry. I told myself to chill, cause it was basically just one day. It didn't help that I like to play music in the morning too, so with sharing a room with my brother while she is home, I can't do that either. So, basically, I had no way to chill this morning. Good thing it's only for a few days, otherwise I would start getting really cranky.
I Wake Up Each Morning with a Song in My Head
It's not really a problem, but it's one of my favourite things about me. Each morning, I get a different song stuck in my head. It will never say anything about the day ahead, or the mood I'm in. It is just the song of the day. Today it is Let It Go - Dragonette. I fell in love with Dragonette relatively recently, and this song is so catchy I love it. I am half tempted to sit here and dance at my desk, because I just love it so, but everyone will totally judge me. I'm doing work, I promise! (These posts are usually written over a long span of time, as I do work, write a little, do more work, etc.). Sometimes they are sad songs, sometimes they are happy songs. It doesn't matter, as it will never affect my day, just will be something there to keep me entertained. The only time I am ever concerned is when I don't have a song in my head. That usually spells trouble ahead.
Sometimes I Just Need to do Nothing
I get into these really weird moods sometimes. They are hard to explain, but I legit just need to be left alone. I don't want to talk about it usually, as it is just something I need to work through. It sometimes lasts a few hours, or a few days. I get over it pretty quickly mostly, but during that time I just need to be alone. I just need that me time. It's sometimes nice when someone is there just to hang out and distract me. One day I shifted into this mood while hanging out with a friend, and he was nice enough to just keep me company. It wasn't his fault, and there was nothing I could do about it, but it was really sweet of him! It was also cool that he understood that I just didn't want to talk about it.
I Have Attachment Issues
This is the biggest thing. I cannot stress enough how hard it is for me to get attached to somebody. Yes, occasionally I get that puppy love and fall hard, but for the most part I have no idea how I feel about people. It is even harder when said people like me back. I don't know why, there's just nothing. A lot of times it's really concerning because I can never find a reason to not like said person, but it's just empty. There are also aspects of my life that I will basically tell anyone that asks. However, there are things that you could torture me to try to get out, and I just can't. They usually aren't even that important or interesting, you just aren't allowed to know. Sorry, I just am really guarded about certain things. A friend pointed that out once. The interesting thing is that I basically wear my heart on my sleeve. It is painfully obvious how I feel about people, and it's actually hilarious when people cannot read me. I'm basically an open book when it comes to my emotions, there's just nothing I can do about it.
I don't even have trust issues, which you think would cause a lot of the problems. No one has really turned around and stabbed me hard before (well, maybe once, but that is longer over with) but for the most part I'm pretty good upfront about knowing who I can trust and who I cannot. Ah well.
Guess this ends my.. rant? I don't know what to call this.
Till next time, loves.
~G
Pet Peeve: People Who Chew with Their Mouth Open.
I cannot even begin to describe how much I loathe the sound of people chewing. It annoys me to the point of deciding hundreds of ways to murder said person. In order to hold in my utter rage and still the desire for murder, I basically dig my nails into my skin as hard as I can. It can't be healthy, but when you tell said person 300 times to chew with their mouth closed, and they still do it, I basically just give up. A friend of mine once looked up this peeve on the internet and found out it is a trait in your DNA. This sound making me want to kill people I was fucking born with. That is weird and upsetting. I'd like to sit through dinner without thinking of burning someone alive, or stabbing them with my fork.
Having/Not Having Money
I hate not having money, but having money is a blessing and a curse for me. I know I'm not alone here, but when I have money to spend, I SPEND IT. I can blow through $300 in a day, not giving a fuck. It doesn't hit me till my bank account is empty, and then I basically sit there and cry. Now, when I don't have a steady income, I won't do this, as I know this money has to last me at least x months or days or whatever. Then I will spend rarely. But when I have a job and steady income? Oh boy, just try and stop me from buying clothes and games and whatever the fuck else I don't need. Seriously, go ahead and try. I DARE YOU.
Playing Games with Other People
MMO's and other online games are both a blessing and a curse. Playing with friends is always fun, but once you get stuck with strangers, it can go one of two ways. People will be utter assholes to you and make you want to quit the game for all eternity, or you will meet awesome people who you befriend and maybe friend on Facebook. Seriously guys, it's 2012. There is nothing wrong with internet friends! There are also those gray area people who just float on by, but you get my point. The thing is I really enjoy online gaming, but sometimes you just look off into the distance, your whole team falling apart and everyone at each others throats, and ask the world why. Why do you act this way? Calling somebody bad isn't going to make them better. Actually help them out sometimes. Kindness goes a long way bro.
Listening to Other People
Guys, I have the attention span of a goldfish. I know the majority of people I know do as well. But sometimes, when you start telling me a really long story (especially if we are in a car or something) I will totally zone the fuck out. It just happens. Your story could be really enthralling, but it is just what happens! I zone out all the time. In the middle of work, while chatting with people, while gaming online, while reading. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, I just retreat into my mind and get lost. It's like a labyrinth in there, and once I go in there is no coming out. Granted I'll suddenly realize I haven't heard a word of your story, but it is nothing against you. I will really try my hardest sometimes, but don't get mad if I tune out. I will let you know if I honestly don't care about what you are saying.
I Am Really Nervous When It Comes to My Music
I love listening to music. I really do, and I know almost every else does to. When I'm driving around I will blast whatever the hell I want, because it is usually just me. However, the moment someone else gets in the car, I don't know how to function anymore. I know what music they like, usually, but I sit there with my iPhone, trying to choose something I can put on that we will both enjoy and won't cause them to turn to me with those judging eyes and say "You listen to THAT?" It's not that I care most of the time, but my desire to make the ride enjoyable for all parties makes it hard. I like to listen to specific music when I drive, you know? Sometimes that is Dubstep, sometimes trashy Pop, and others Classic Rock that I listen to with my parents. I have these moods, and you being in the car will cause me to skip 80% of my loved tracks. I don't hate you, I just hate you right now.
Do NOT Fuck with My Morning Routine
I have a specific schedule when I get up. This usually involves immediately jumping in the shower and then getting ready for the day. I am very dead set on this in the morning, especially when I am getting ready for work. For work, I get up at 8 to shower, and try to leave by 8:45/8:50. If I am not in the shower by like 8:05, it guarantees I will be late. I can't explain it, it just WILL HAPPEN. My sister was home today and she was in the shower when I got up, so I didn't get in till like 8:10. And, no big surprise, I was late for work. Now, it's really not her fault, cause she didn't know that was when I liked to get up. Still, I spent most of the morning just angry. I told myself to chill, cause it was basically just one day. It didn't help that I like to play music in the morning too, so with sharing a room with my brother while she is home, I can't do that either. So, basically, I had no way to chill this morning. Good thing it's only for a few days, otherwise I would start getting really cranky.
I Wake Up Each Morning with a Song in My Head
It's not really a problem, but it's one of my favourite things about me. Each morning, I get a different song stuck in my head. It will never say anything about the day ahead, or the mood I'm in. It is just the song of the day. Today it is Let It Go - Dragonette. I fell in love with Dragonette relatively recently, and this song is so catchy I love it. I am half tempted to sit here and dance at my desk, because I just love it so, but everyone will totally judge me. I'm doing work, I promise! (These posts are usually written over a long span of time, as I do work, write a little, do more work, etc.). Sometimes they are sad songs, sometimes they are happy songs. It doesn't matter, as it will never affect my day, just will be something there to keep me entertained. The only time I am ever concerned is when I don't have a song in my head. That usually spells trouble ahead.
Sometimes I Just Need to do Nothing
I get into these really weird moods sometimes. They are hard to explain, but I legit just need to be left alone. I don't want to talk about it usually, as it is just something I need to work through. It sometimes lasts a few hours, or a few days. I get over it pretty quickly mostly, but during that time I just need to be alone. I just need that me time. It's sometimes nice when someone is there just to hang out and distract me. One day I shifted into this mood while hanging out with a friend, and he was nice enough to just keep me company. It wasn't his fault, and there was nothing I could do about it, but it was really sweet of him! It was also cool that he understood that I just didn't want to talk about it.
I Have Attachment Issues
This is the biggest thing. I cannot stress enough how hard it is for me to get attached to somebody. Yes, occasionally I get that puppy love and fall hard, but for the most part I have no idea how I feel about people. It is even harder when said people like me back. I don't know why, there's just nothing. A lot of times it's really concerning because I can never find a reason to not like said person, but it's just empty. There are also aspects of my life that I will basically tell anyone that asks. However, there are things that you could torture me to try to get out, and I just can't. They usually aren't even that important or interesting, you just aren't allowed to know. Sorry, I just am really guarded about certain things. A friend pointed that out once. The interesting thing is that I basically wear my heart on my sleeve. It is painfully obvious how I feel about people, and it's actually hilarious when people cannot read me. I'm basically an open book when it comes to my emotions, there's just nothing I can do about it.
I don't even have trust issues, which you think would cause a lot of the problems. No one has really turned around and stabbed me hard before (well, maybe once, but that is longer over with) but for the most part I'm pretty good upfront about knowing who I can trust and who I cannot. Ah well.
Guess this ends my.. rant? I don't know what to call this.
Till next time, loves.
~G
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Goals of the Summer
So I decided not to go NSFW. I'll just regale you with other tales of mystery and suspense. Or just tales of tales. Who knows!
I've suddenly set some goals for the summer. I realized today that I need to get some stuff done, especially because my last year of college is coming up and I am not ready for the real world! I'm already taking steps: moving to my own place down in VA, looking for a job, preparing for an internship, etc. The big thing there though is the internship, and I am TERRIFIED of the concept.
You see, in order for me to graduate, I have to have taken an internship at some gaming company. There are no maybes, without it I CANNOT graduate. That blows major chunks. It doesn't help that I don't feel ready for it either, like my work just isn't up to par compared to everyone's work. Who wants mediocre? No one, that's who.
So, in order to get my portfolio better and give me something I want to show off, one of my goals this summer is to create at least one really good 3D model. I don't care who or what it is, I just need something to be like "BAM MOTHERFUCKERS. LOOK AT THIS SHIT. WHO DOESN'T WANT SOME OF THIS?"
That is something I would love to actually say in an interview.
Anyway, I just need to work on my skills and get better. I figure if I can pump out a few before next semester, maybe I can do something with my life later.
The second goal is less important, but I really want to learn French again. I remember bits and pieces, and using Google translate I do a lot of "Oh hey, I actually knew this one." Then I just start looking up words that I don't know. I guess I just want to be able to speak another language. I mean, I really want to speak a lot of languages, but one step at a time! A refresher would be good for me anyway, something to pad the ol' resume. Not really, I just love the language.
The third thing can wait till I'm down in VA, but I want to get in shape! I started running a while ago, but with nowhere to really run around BPT, I don't ever feel like going. Plus, if I do want to go, I have to steal someone's car and get it back to them when they need it. I can't just get up and go, and it puts a damper on things. It makes me not want to go out and run, cause it is SO MUCH EFFORT.
This is me complaining about being lazy. Yup.
The last thing is, well, this blog! I want to do writing for games, so using this blog to post and whatnot will hopefully help me get into the writing mood. I've been putting together information for a novel I want to write, or a webcomic I want to do, but it is still in very early development. Basically, I've made up a bunch of characters, so now I have to come up with the larger details, like the story and world and whatnot. But we shall see! Hopefully that will go somewhere haha.
But alas, I must return to work. Today has been slow, so I'm writing this inbetween working and when I have downtime, so it's not like I'm not working or anything. I will see you lovelies sometime in the near future!
~G
I've suddenly set some goals for the summer. I realized today that I need to get some stuff done, especially because my last year of college is coming up and I am not ready for the real world! I'm already taking steps: moving to my own place down in VA, looking for a job, preparing for an internship, etc. The big thing there though is the internship, and I am TERRIFIED of the concept.
You see, in order for me to graduate, I have to have taken an internship at some gaming company. There are no maybes, without it I CANNOT graduate. That blows major chunks. It doesn't help that I don't feel ready for it either, like my work just isn't up to par compared to everyone's work. Who wants mediocre? No one, that's who.
So, in order to get my portfolio better and give me something I want to show off, one of my goals this summer is to create at least one really good 3D model. I don't care who or what it is, I just need something to be like "BAM MOTHERFUCKERS. LOOK AT THIS SHIT. WHO DOESN'T WANT SOME OF THIS?"
That is something I would love to actually say in an interview.
Anyway, I just need to work on my skills and get better. I figure if I can pump out a few before next semester, maybe I can do something with my life later.
The second goal is less important, but I really want to learn French again. I remember bits and pieces, and using Google translate I do a lot of "Oh hey, I actually knew this one." Then I just start looking up words that I don't know. I guess I just want to be able to speak another language. I mean, I really want to speak a lot of languages, but one step at a time! A refresher would be good for me anyway, something to pad the ol' resume. Not really, I just love the language.
The third thing can wait till I'm down in VA, but I want to get in shape! I started running a while ago, but with nowhere to really run around BPT, I don't ever feel like going. Plus, if I do want to go, I have to steal someone's car and get it back to them when they need it. I can't just get up and go, and it puts a damper on things. It makes me not want to go out and run, cause it is SO MUCH EFFORT.
This is me complaining about being lazy. Yup.
The last thing is, well, this blog! I want to do writing for games, so using this blog to post and whatnot will hopefully help me get into the writing mood. I've been putting together information for a novel I want to write, or a webcomic I want to do, but it is still in very early development. Basically, I've made up a bunch of characters, so now I have to come up with the larger details, like the story and world and whatnot. But we shall see! Hopefully that will go somewhere haha.
But alas, I must return to work. Today has been slow, so I'm writing this inbetween working and when I have downtime, so it's not like I'm not working or anything. I will see you lovelies sometime in the near future!
~G
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
A Fresh Start
So I think I want to start writing in this blog again. It was fun when I used to do it, especially because I always had something interesting to talk about. I also just miss the writing in it, the laughs shared with friends and the general something to do each week. It doesn't help that I've been reading a lot of Thought Catalog and the stories there make me want to write.
The big thing though, I'm tempted to make this blog a bit "NSFW." I have this habit of disappearing randomly and spending the night at someone's place, or just generally doing things that you wouldn't share with your family. I feel like it would be fun to just tell these things to the internet, because hey, I already tell strangers more than I probably should. I've always been an open book, especially because apparently I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I don't want this to be some LiveJournal thing, me expressing my deepest emotions and wanting sympathy from strangers even though I pretend to not care. Don't get me wrong, I loved LJ when I was on there. I just feel like it became more of a diary, and I don't want that.
Though, I DO want to share stories about things that bug me, or like this past week have caused me to have emotional breakdowns at night while I freak out over things that really don't matter. Who knows!
What I'm getting at is, I'm starting over again. I miss just writing in general, and so this will be me doing this all over again. I'll update at least once a week for now, but I don't really know how long that will last. The first real update will come sometime tomorrow I think. It will probably be about my debauchery on Grindr, and the stupid decisions I have made that turned out REALLY great. That is only if I decided to take the NSFW approach, BUT WE SHALL SEE.
~G
The big thing though, I'm tempted to make this blog a bit "NSFW." I have this habit of disappearing randomly and spending the night at someone's place, or just generally doing things that you wouldn't share with your family. I feel like it would be fun to just tell these things to the internet, because hey, I already tell strangers more than I probably should. I've always been an open book, especially because apparently I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I don't want this to be some LiveJournal thing, me expressing my deepest emotions and wanting sympathy from strangers even though I pretend to not care. Don't get me wrong, I loved LJ when I was on there. I just feel like it became more of a diary, and I don't want that.
Though, I DO want to share stories about things that bug me, or like this past week have caused me to have emotional breakdowns at night while I freak out over things that really don't matter. Who knows!
What I'm getting at is, I'm starting over again. I miss just writing in general, and so this will be me doing this all over again. I'll update at least once a week for now, but I don't really know how long that will last. The first real update will come sometime tomorrow I think. It will probably be about my debauchery on Grindr, and the stupid decisions I have made that turned out REALLY great. That is only if I decided to take the NSFW approach, BUT WE SHALL SEE.
~G
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Posting that everywhereeeeee.
Mostly because I love it. I don't actually want to throw a table or anything and am currently not upset.
Anywhoooo. I don't feel like doing work and instead want to type out a blog post because, hey, why not?
Things have been pretty good in school so far. I kind of had a mini freak out when we had to make a game by ourselves in two days, but we later got an extension on the due date, but mine still ended up pretty bad, mostly because I do not understand coding. WHATEVER. Now we are doing our group project finals and I get to rig and skin models. I'm also doing concept art for one of the dungeons, so I'm pretty excited about that.
I'm also really enjoying typography. It sounded rather boring at first, but now it's really fun. This next project we have to make a business suite setup and print it out on fancy paper (which I still have to go get ;_;). It's rather easy to do, but getting the set up juuuust right is rather frustrating. If you have ever used InDesign, you know what I mean. It didn't help that this is really the first time I have used the program, so learning yet another program is frustrating. Especially since I have to use like 4 others for my other classes. Ugh.
It's not so bad though. I've kind of forgotten how to do things in 3DS MAX (a 3d modeling program) but I managed to get the tutorials the teacher put up so that's helpful.
Also I just had to scan my face for a project. It came out really cool looking, but omg was it awkward. Not so awkward though, because everyone else in the class was doing it as well. Romel and I did ours and we laughed out how goofy we looked. The teacher really liked the way our faces came out too. Now we have to like cut them up and tape them together to make a new image. Not quite sure what to do for that, so we'll see.
That's it for now. I'm going to go follow a green line around campus to find out where it goes. Ta ta for now!
~G
Mostly because I love it. I don't actually want to throw a table or anything and am currently not upset.
Anywhoooo. I don't feel like doing work and instead want to type out a blog post because, hey, why not?
Things have been pretty good in school so far. I kind of had a mini freak out when we had to make a game by ourselves in two days, but we later got an extension on the due date, but mine still ended up pretty bad, mostly because I do not understand coding. WHATEVER. Now we are doing our group project finals and I get to rig and skin models. I'm also doing concept art for one of the dungeons, so I'm pretty excited about that.
I'm also really enjoying typography. It sounded rather boring at first, but now it's really fun. This next project we have to make a business suite setup and print it out on fancy paper (which I still have to go get ;_;). It's rather easy to do, but getting the set up juuuust right is rather frustrating. If you have ever used InDesign, you know what I mean. It didn't help that this is really the first time I have used the program, so learning yet another program is frustrating. Especially since I have to use like 4 others for my other classes. Ugh.
It's not so bad though. I've kind of forgotten how to do things in 3DS MAX (a 3d modeling program) but I managed to get the tutorials the teacher put up so that's helpful.
Also I just had to scan my face for a project. It came out really cool looking, but omg was it awkward. Not so awkward though, because everyone else in the class was doing it as well. Romel and I did ours and we laughed out how goofy we looked. The teacher really liked the way our faces came out too. Now we have to like cut them up and tape them together to make a new image. Not quite sure what to do for that, so we'll see.
That's it for now. I'm going to go follow a green line around campus to find out where it goes. Ta ta for now!
~G
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
School is now in Session
OH HEY INTERNET
It's been a while since I last said hello. Mostly because my life went to hell for a short while and I wasn't really sure what was going to happen, but everything is OKAY NOW AND I AM BACK AT SCHOOL.
Yes, the last time I posted was in July and it is now towards the end of September! I kind of feel like Allie from Hyperbole.
Except without the thousands of followers and brilliant blog posts.
ANYWAY
So Summer has been over for a while and right before I left for school Hurricane Irene hit and kind of did a decent amount of damage to the East Coast. It's alright though, where I live was okay. The only problem was that a large amount of people lost power, myself included. Now overall that isn't that bad, but we lost power for 6 days.
6. DAYS.
See, I'm usually not that bad when it comes to power outages. Normally I can entertain myself through the night/day knowing that by the next day power will be back and all will be well. However, come day 3 of having no power I started to crazy. Like, legit crazy. It's kind of hard to entertain myself when everyone I know is back at school and I am alone in my house. It was not fun. On top of everything, right before Irene hit I found out my school housing had been cancelled, and since I go to school in VA that was kind of a big problem.
As we scrambled to put everything together and get me housing so I could go back to school, I ended up missing the first week of classes and had my friends constantly calling me asking why there was someone in my space and why I wasn't there. I briefly explained the situation, but not as well as I had thought. So everyone was kind of going crazy trying to get me to answer, when I was just like "Please stop calling. I'll let you know when I'm coming down."
Eventually, I came down and lived the first week of classes on my friends floor. I really hated life, but I eventually got a dorm, switched with the guy in my space and now ALL IS WELL.
It's weird though. This is he first semester since Freshman year where I have had a Friday class, and on top of the MWF don't start till 1:30. Normally I am up at 9 everyday to get ready for my 10:30 class. I mean I'm not complaining, it's just a new sensation. The projects for this year have also been a lot of fun so far, and I actually have an excuse to draw now (considering I can never just bring myself to sit down and just DRAW).
That's about all for now. I've got to go back to paying attention in class. I'll see you guys later.
It's been a while since I last said hello. Mostly because my life went to hell for a short while and I wasn't really sure what was going to happen, but everything is OKAY NOW AND I AM BACK AT SCHOOL.
Yes, the last time I posted was in July and it is now towards the end of September! I kind of feel like Allie from Hyperbole.
Except without the thousands of followers and brilliant blog posts.
ANYWAY
So Summer has been over for a while and right before I left for school Hurricane Irene hit and kind of did a decent amount of damage to the East Coast. It's alright though, where I live was okay. The only problem was that a large amount of people lost power, myself included. Now overall that isn't that bad, but we lost power for 6 days.
6. DAYS.
See, I'm usually not that bad when it comes to power outages. Normally I can entertain myself through the night/day knowing that by the next day power will be back and all will be well. However, come day 3 of having no power I started to crazy. Like, legit crazy. It's kind of hard to entertain myself when everyone I know is back at school and I am alone in my house. It was not fun. On top of everything, right before Irene hit I found out my school housing had been cancelled, and since I go to school in VA that was kind of a big problem.
As we scrambled to put everything together and get me housing so I could go back to school, I ended up missing the first week of classes and had my friends constantly calling me asking why there was someone in my space and why I wasn't there. I briefly explained the situation, but not as well as I had thought. So everyone was kind of going crazy trying to get me to answer, when I was just like "Please stop calling. I'll let you know when I'm coming down."
Eventually, I came down and lived the first week of classes on my friends floor. I really hated life, but I eventually got a dorm, switched with the guy in my space and now ALL IS WELL.
It's weird though. This is he first semester since Freshman year where I have had a Friday class, and on top of the MWF don't start till 1:30. Normally I am up at 9 everyday to get ready for my 10:30 class. I mean I'm not complaining, it's just a new sensation. The projects for this year have also been a lot of fun so far, and I actually have an excuse to draw now (considering I can never just bring myself to sit down and just DRAW).
That's about all for now. I've got to go back to paying attention in class. I'll see you guys later.
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